The Gift of Time

I think everyone has had a moment of truth in which he realizes how life is passing by quickly.  There is work to be done, work we are called to do, and countless diversions to keep us from that work. 

I'm not just speaking of the work where we earn a wage to support our families and ourselves.  I'm thinking of the work we were born to do--the work that will have made the world a better place when we leave it.  Perhaps some of that work might be an intrinsic part of the wage-earning work we do, and that is ideal.  I certainly felt moments like that when I was teaching children. 

But just as a thief can invade our home and rob us of valued possessions, there are thieves that rob us of the blessing of doing our life's work.  There is this demanding physical world in which we live, and in an effort to make sense out of it, we engage in tasks that have only temporary value.  But the larger, eternal world is a spiritual one, and when we are robbed of touching that world, even for one day of our lives, it is truly a tragedy. 

God is always at work in our lives, but we often are too busy to see what gifts He is trying to share with us.  Today, I whispered prayers as I awoke and stumbled out of bed, another few whispers to the Lord during my walk with Coco, and another few prayers in the car.  Still, they weren't fervent;  they were just passing words, like a neighbor might offer us a smile and wave of "good morning."

This day was a gift from God and where did it go?

In the first hour of the day, I showered and did my hair and makeup, made my bed, opened all the sliders, had some juice, let the dog and cat on the patio.  Then I checked my two email accounts, answered phone calls and returned others.  I sorted through laundry, brought in the trash bin,  fed and groomed Coco and Raindrop, and took Coco on a half hour walk in the park. 

After driving three towns away to pick up my new "lens wear" this morning, I spent several hours shopping at the mall for a new outfit because I had never made it to church on Sunday since I could find nothing at all suitable to wear.

Late afternoon, I did some research on the computer regarding a future move I have to make.  I spent at least an hour playing Words with Friends, Eight Letters in Search of a Word, and Drop Poker.  A "Little House on the Prairie" episode and an old Western stole another couple of hours from me. 

This day was not as I had planned or hoped.  Last night my friend Peggy and I had agreed to meet on the way to pick up my new eyeglasses.  She had to take her Toyota for a recall repair which was expected to take several hours, and while they did the repair, she thought she could ride with me to my eyeglass place, and then we could browse in a charity thrift store or have a bite to eat together. It was a plan full of hope and cheer.

Somehow we never were able to meet.  Her repair was completed earlier than she expected, and she headed home.  I got out the door later than I intended, and neither of us was able to connect with the other.  Peggy doesn't have a cell phone!

In the interest of friendship, that one meeting would have been something very worthwhile and uplifting for both of us.  Friendship matters!  It would have been part of the life work that makes the world a better place.  We would have spoken of family and friends and offered insights and reflections on what it means to be a mother and a grandmother.  Our shared words of wisdom would have inspired us with hope and brought healing of memories.  Our conversation would then have become part of the greater picture of our lives, our extended families, friends, and our neighbors in the world. 

"Heavenly Father, thank you for your loving kindness toward me.  Thank you for each day you have given me, each full of countless blessings.  Forgive me, Lord, for not doing your will more completely today.  Forgive me for allowing precious time to evaporate in useless activities and inane diversions.  Help me to choose wisely and to remain centered in you.  I don't want to do anything without your presence and grace.  Please direct my path and put your love in my heart so that even the smallest act of my daily life will be touched by you.  In Jesus name, I ask this.  Amen."

The Winds of Change

I can't believe it's January 27th, 2012!  Where has the time gone? 

I agree with Gretchin Rubin's statement,  "The days are long, but the years are short." 

It becomes truer as the years go by. 

This year will mean significant change for me. 

Last summer I was on a phone call with a former classmate in Pennsylvania.  I was telling her that I felt I needed to change things in my life, maybe beginning with a really big change, like a move to another place. 

I was content to continue living here in this comfortable condo in Palm Springs, happy with my neighbors and friends that live closeby.  It's wonderful to have sunshine nearly every day and maybe an occasional rainstorm or windstorm that brings refreshment or excitement.  I can swim every day of the year to keep physically active, even on the days of our winter where the temperature might drop to the sixties, we have a heated salt-water pool. 

But my life has become boring and routine.  Truth is, I'm not old enough to be finished with the creative aspect of my life.  This resort town somehow has never felt like home.

Retirement can mean becoming very staid in your outlook, manner, and vision.  When things are too easy, with no challenges to take up, a person fails to grow inwardly.  I thought that if I had to begin anew at age 65 in a different town, it would lead to growth, hopefully positive growth.  I would be forced to find my way around in a new place.  I would need to discover new places to shop, a new hairdresser, a new car repair place, and also a new church.  All these changes might be challenging, even uncomfortable, but they would make it possible to meet and make new friends, maybe even find a job where I can make a contribution.  

Thinking about making such a big change is one thing.  The action required is another!  Actually initiating change requires great courage, especially when you're a little older and you're alone and not nearly as healthy as you once were.

Lo and behold, change happens when we least expect it!  Not long after speaking with my classmate about my wanting to make a change, I received a phone call from the rental agent who manages the condo where I've been living for seven years.  He said the owners of the condo were putting the place up for sale! 

I panicked!  I wasn't ready to give up my beloved home, and I was shaken.  Yet, the first couple who came to see the place made an offer on the spot.  Now this place has been sold to them, and they are honoring my rental lease until June 30, 2012!  So, you see, I must make a change! 

Be careful what you pray for!

I think the Lord knew I wouldn't make the change without a little push.  And all the ruminating I had done previously helped prepare my mind for the possibility of change.

Please God, help me to see this change through gracefully, knowing that you will be with me every step of the way.   Direct me, through your Holy Spirit, to follow your prodding and not to falter.  Give me your perfect peace that passes understanding.  Amen.

It's January 5th, so where's my fifth post?

All right, I have been procrastinating.  There are reasons, maybe excuses, why I haven't written.  There have also been some outright obstacles.  But, let's face it, the biggest obstacle is I don't always feel like writing.

Seven reasons why I won't write on my blog:

1.  Sometimes my eyes hurt, and I don't want to be looking into that bright computer screen.

2.  Sometimes I've been taking medicine for arthritis and it makes me sleepy.

3.  Sometimes I think it doesn't matter whether or not I write.  Who cares anyway? 

4.  Sometimes I am not at all inspired by any particular topic.

5.  Today I just want to read, not write.  I want to benefit from the wisdom of others and from the time and effort they sacrificed to write something meaningful.

6.  Writing is a lonely job.  There you are with an empty page. 

7. Do I honestly believe the world will be a better place just because I took the time to write on my blog today?


Procrastination is the way of my avoiding doing a task that I believe I cannot do exceedingly well.  It's fear of failure, or maybe fear of mediocrity, that prevents me from putting that first word on the blank page.

But, at least for today, I have written something.  I know I have not written exceedingly well.  But maybe it's okay not to be perfect today.  Maybe it is more of a step toward perfection to have taken the time to write than not to have written anything at all.

TENDERHEARTED . . . (Ephesians 4:32)

I love the word tenderhearted. When I hear the word spoken, I can't help but smile. It calls to mind someone I know -- a gentle person with a quiet demeanor and a welcoming smile, someone I have loved since I was a child.
 
Years ago I came across the word tenderhearted in the last verse of the 4th chapter of Ephesians.  I was learning then what it meant to be a Christian. It was a time when I desired to grow in the Lord with all my heart.
 
The Book of Ephesians is filled with the apostle Paul's instructions on living as children of light, but the very last verse is the one that endeared me to that calling. Since that first reading, in every situation of my life, these words have come back to me for both encouragement and reproof.
 
The verse reads:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.

I find beauty and humility in the word "tenderhearted." It speaks of a certain innocence and childlikeness.  It makes me think of a tender shoot delicately rooted, fluttering in the breeze, green and sweet-smelling.

Throughout the gospels, we find Jesus advising us to remain humble before God and man, to be childlike in our relationship with the Father. Children do not complicate their own lives. Their simplicity allows them to forgive and forget and to move on. Children are trusting. They simply rely on their parents to provide for them and to take care of them and to come to their rescue when needed.  We need to be like children in trusting God.

Through the work of the cross, we have been forgiven by God and given the promise of eternal life. Can we risk being unforgiving toward anyone?

God forgave us, not because we deserved it, not because we paid for our salvation with our good works, but because His Son Jesus died for us, redeeming us with His own blood.

I hope I will never forget the supreme kindness of God toward me that while I was yet a sinner, Jesus loved me and gave his life for me.

So, I cannot cease to come back to this verse:

Be ye kind, one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you.  (Ephesians 4:32)



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Is Sleep Something Holy?

I often ask myself the question as to whether or not sleep is holy.

For me, sleep deprivation makes me feel unholy. Any chance I have to resemble a child of God vanishes if I don't get my sleep.

In the wisdom of His creation, God separated light from darkness. He wonderfully ordained separate hours of light and darkness as a gift to ensure his creatures would sleep and be refreshed. Night and day naturally divided work-and-play time from sleep-and-dream time.

"I love my bed." During her high school years, my youngest daughter would say that often as she got under her covers and closed her eyes. She had a pretty comforter and special sheet sets I had bought for her, but they were only a slight part of her enjoyment of her bed.

Every day my daughter arose very early to get ready for her day at school. She chose a tough academic schedule with no breaks for study halls. After the day's classes were over, she threw herself into physically demanding athletics. From there, she went to a job at a cookie bakery, and on some nights, she sold popcorn and candy at the local theater. I wonder now how she managed to complete her studies and maintain good grades. But I do know that once she crawled into bed at night, she luxuriated in being there. We would say good night, and as I walked away, I would hear the blissful sigh and the words, "I love my bed."

Except for those who work at a physically demanding job, we often don't appreciate the true blessing of sleep. The sweet rapture of falling into bed after complete physical exhaustion is a rare delight to most of us. We seldom experience being so physically tired that we crave going to bed. We extend the hours of our day with our TVs and computers, wearing out our eyes, yet still stubbornly refusing to turn off the gadgets.

I battled sleeplessness after my divorce. After enduring the loss of home and husband and the flight of three grown children from the nest, I was devastated. I had to pull myself together to survive. I took a job on an island where there was a teacher shortage. After all the major changes in my life, I realized I had to reinvent myself to some degree. My mind was so restless that sleep would not come.

Often I would get behind the wheel at night and drive from one end of the island to the other. The island was about twelve miles long. Some nights I would add over a hundred miles to the odometer just driving back and forth on the island parkway, then return to my rented apartment and try to sleep. My day still seemed sadly unfinished. I had no one anymore to say good night to.

Now I have a dog and cat who like to sleep on my bed. The sound of their snoring is a healing balm to me, as I hope the sound of my snoring is to them. We are peaceful together, somehow comforting each other by being close.

I do think sleep can be a gift made holy by how we use it. Sleep refreshes our minds and bodies and spirits so that we might live another day to honor our Creator and to live life in the joyful, loving, purposeful way that He intended.

When you Click on Next Blog--IT'S NOT MY BLOG!

I have found that when I'm on my blog, there is a link at the top that says Next Blog. However, something completely foreign to me, something I've never seen or read, and certainly never written, is what appears there. It's someone else's blog.

I guess this is meant to help blogs to be found by new readers. It's just that I don't want my readers (if there be any) to mistake these sites as being related to me in some way.

It comes back to caring what people think of me, I guess. Will I ever stop? Maybe never, and I suppose it's limiting and controlling and making my life a little busier and more complicated to care what others think.

Caring about what others think makes me shower, fix my hair, brush my teeth, iron my clothes, write thank you notes, brush my dog and cat. I guess I would do those things anyway, but perhaps not quite as thoroughly or as often or as fastidiously.

Certainly I care what I think about myself regardless of what others may think of me.

This year I'm really going to try to care more what God thinks of me. In this regard, I want to keep in mind what truly motivates me to do what appears to be a good deed. If I'm only performing good deeds to the well-heeled, well-educated, and the politically correct, then I need to reconsider my true motives.

The days are long, but the years are short, and I'd like to get a few things right before it's too late.

Resolve is difficult for me

January first, 2012, and I'm already feeling resentful that I should be making and keeping resolutions.

I'm not sure why it is difficult for me to resolve to do something. I think I'm eager to keep the freedom to do what I want to do, when I want to do it, and not to be answerable to any other power than myself.

That, of course, is a big problem. It is a way to never grow, never change, never become a better person.

Those who accomplish great things in their lives have done so purposefully, working hard at things, developing themselves and the work that is to be done. Of course, we are born helpless and naked into this world, so all we become, all the gifts we have, come from God. Still, He cannot and will not help us if we are not willing in our spirit to give Him an opening.