Raising children in an unkind world

Raising your children in a world full of violence is more challenging than ever before.  TV shows in the mainstream have become increasingly graphic and violent and laden with sexual messages that affect all of us negatively, but especially our children.  Video games, the Internet, animated films, and even some popular music bombard kids with disturbing and relentless images that insult their vulnerable hearts and minds.

Yet some parents have virtually eliminated exposure to these influences in their own home.  They have consciously and unselfishly made a decision to shape the experience of their children in a positive way.  They have had to give up their own exposure to TV and the Internet and become available to their children for family time activities.

The most success has come from activities that are fun and an important and regular part of family life. Learning activities that involve music, dance, table games, sports, and exercise benefit everyone.

Even with curbing such exposure, there is so much more parents can do to raise children to become caring and responsible adults.

Smiles and encouragement go a long way in family life.  Take time to listen to your children and show respect for their ideas and thoughts. 

Choose worthwhile books for your children.  Remember that even high school students enjoy being read to by one or both parents. It is worth your time and effort. What you teach your children now will carry through to the next generation--your grandchildren!

Try the best way to teach kindness -- by example. When you are speaking of those who are not present in the room, speak well of them.  The words you speak, the voice you use, your facial expressions -- all of these matter.

Although children are not born knowing how to get along with others, studies show that infants have a natural sense of empathy for others. That empathy will grow and be reinforced by the loving people who surround them. The experience of growing up in a loving home is paramount in a child's development.

Children can learn to disagree without being disagreeable. Help them express their ideas without being hostile. Provide examples of the right words to use when they feel slighted by others.

It is a beautiful thing to see a child who consciously makes an effort to get along with others.  Ask any elementary teacher, and he will tell you that happy, amiable children tend to come from parents who have a gentle manner and peaceful demeanor.

Siblings can learn to treat each other with respect. Calling someone "stupid" or telling someone to "shut up" are hurtful ways of communicating. Our home needs to be a shelter from the incivility of the world.

Discipline without violence. If you indeed use violence, you are showing that you yourself are undisciplined. Everyone has a weak moment, but that's when self-control is in order.  Whisper a prayer when you're upset and respond to a situation in the way you hope your children will respond. Children really do learn what they live.

Embrace your role as a parent with joy and wonder.  Keep a smile on your face.  Not everyone has the privilege of such a high calling. You are the best parent for your child.

Live your life as if someone is watching -- which is the absolute truth. Your precious child is watching you every step of the way.

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